39 weeks and 4 days…

yeah.. I know… way too long without a post! I’ll spare you the ‘bla bla bla… bad blogger…’ thing

My how these last few weeks have been – um – interesting… First it started with my getting everything ready at work for my assistant to take over my project. Then we spent 3 weeks together going over everything. These were incredibly tough weeks to be honest. Not just on a ‘this is so much work’ level, but on an emotional level as well – learning to let go… I’m not going to be there to make sure that everything goes smoothly anymore, this project will continue without me…

Then I started mat leave. Wow. I didn’t realize it would be so tough to adjust to this new life! I really have not had this kind of time before, where I’m in charge of making ‘my house’ work… I have no clue how to organize my time, how to prioritize things… Let’s just say I have failed many days to accomplish anything, thinking, I can relax for a bit, there are so many hours in a day, right? wrong!

And then, there’s all the baby stuff, to do, to think about…

I went for the GBS test and it turned out positive But that’s ok, I got the medicine and it can be administered by my midwifes no problem for my home birth. To be honest, I felt so … defeated, at first – for some reason. But now I’m really ok with it – it’s just a few injections, not a big deal…

One of my midwifes came for the ‘home visit’ during my 37th week and gave me the ‘if this goes wrong this is what we’ll do’ talk. Interesting that they saved this talk for this time in the pregnancy. It was overwhelming!

The biggest thing about this talk/visit that I wasn’t prepared for, was to hear that there were a few procedures that they like to do that I didn’t expect I would have to ‘fight’ against. Like delivering the placenta without a shot of pitocin, for instance. And I also realized that I was not that strong in front of someone who intimidates me a bit – I didn’t say anything about my not liking the idea at first, I just nodded and agreed… I have an appointment later today, and, backed with lots of research I did, I’m going to tell her I do not want to get a shot. In fact I prepared my birth plan and will give her a copy – I’m a bit concerned that it might come across as ‘forceful’ but, these are my choices, my preferences and I am confident about them. This is ideally how I want my birth to happen so I have to speak up!

I also realized that I feel better with my other midwife and her student. The way it works is that they go on call on alternate weeks, from a Wednesday to the other. So I hoped so much that I would deliver the baby before today, but I didn’t. Well, my due date is on Saturday after all! I felt so moody all day yesterday about all this – how silly! I do still wish that the baby won’t show up until the ‘nice midwife’ goes ‘on call’ again, but I can’t let it affect me – if I’m stressed it can’t be good for the baby, and it certainly can’t be good for the delivery, right?!! Speaking of which, I am going back in time to catch up on all my favorite blogs and I read this post from Jennifer @ Organic Mama this morning, and I find this is exactly the kind of things I should focus on right now. This post gave me a boost of confidence and that’s exactly what I needed today! So thank you Jennifer

She also gave me an award – Your nice words about my blog really made my day Jennifer, I really really appreciate it – I have to look that up when I come back from the midwifes – man, there goes the morning! I have to go now!! Oops!

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